A Bitch #TBT

I tent to try and keep most of these professional but perhaps at the end of the story you might agree with me.

This is where I went to High School, on this particular day I was in In School Suspension.  It was for kids that had broken some rule deemed bad but not so bad that they were kicked out of school for x number of days.  I suppose I should rewind and tell you why I was in ISS.

Bet the image really intrigues you?  A group of friends and I had a study hall together.  We'd often play euchre and on the rare occasion we'd play D&D.  Their were about 5 of us in this group.  Immediately following the study hall we all had a class together in the very same room, our sixth friend (bit of a redneck, bit is being kind) would then join us ( he wasn't int he study hall).  One day he came in and said "Hi ya all" and threw up a wave.  This is where things took a turn.  We all said Hi and threw up the same wave.  I think the problem came when we said Hi back it was in perfect unison.  The teacher flipped out.  We tried to explain that what was actually said but she wouldn't have it.  We were immediately sent to the office.  After the cooperating testimony of one other student we were all given ISS.  Apparently one teacher, and one student is better than the word of 6 guys taken into separate rooms and giving the same story, but what were we to do.

So I was in ISS the next day.  Often during High School I'd get my lunch money on Monday.  I would then promptly spend it all on a video game or a movie on Tuesday, which resulted in no lunch Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.

It was a Friday, it was not a good day.  So of course the ISS kids had to sit at a separate table a form of social punishment and so the other kids could see what happened if you ruffled feathers.  I recall being especially hungry that day.  At some point a food fight erupts.  Now as best as I can recall nobody that was at the ISS table started it at all.  But the lunch room monitor didn't agree with my assessment.  She came promptly over to me declaring that she'd saw me start it.  I chuckled a bit in astonishment "How? I didn't even lunch today!"

She then claimed that I'd taken food from someone else's tray.  Now in order to get the entire cafeteria to erupt in a food fight this thing would have had to been more magical than the magical bullet.  We're seated in a corner  blocked off from most people by steps and even if the steps were there the other students are at least thirty feet away at the time.  I'd have had to stood up walked over five steps and then thrown whatever food substance that started this fight thirty feet.  That is someone devoted to a food fight who had no food.  That's also a horrible lunch monitor that watched it all happen and didn't try to get the culprit until after the fight was over.

So she then threatens to expel me for this fight.  I then told her if she thought she was going to expel me then she could go to fucking hell you stupid bitch (I was pretty annoyed with being wrongly accused of things I didn't do, aside from Rude behavior in a man it's the only other thing I can't tolerate) and asks my name (it was typical practice in our school to ask a students name then write it on a piece of paper,  the principal would then deal with all the hellions at the end of the day) Shawn McDavis,  I said it without delay or hesitation and I have no idea why I picked that name everyone at the table seemed impressed (they were after all the "bad kids")  She started to write it down... Started.

Something made her think twice.  She marched me straight into the principals office sat me down in the chair explained the whole thing, while he was eating lunch of his own...  Crap.  He then asked my name "well she thinks it's Shawn McDavis for some reason"

"Why does she think that?"

"Cause she's old and senile? Maybe I look like an old student"

"You don't look like Shawn McDavis, so what's your real name"

I give it to him he marches me over to one of the Vice Principals office (we had 3 vp's) Two of them are in there eating lunch.

"Do you know who this is?"

"That's Kirby he's a good kid"

"Not today, he told my mother in law she was a bitch and go to hell"

"That's Kirby he's a good kid" for the first time in this ordeal the principal cracked a smile.

Having confirmed my identity we went back into his office.

"So you heard that was my mother in law, she is a bitch and I wish she would go to hell, so you weren't too far off the mark.  Chuck says your a good kid, so I'll let it go with a war... You were in ISS?"

I then explained that situation.

"Well I can't just let you off then, besides if my wife found out I'd be sleeping on the couch.  You think you can handle another day of ISS?  You'll have lunch in here with me and after your done with ISS you'll steer clear of my mother in law?"

"Yes"

I don't know if he'd forgot or changed his mind but I never did have to go do another day of ISS or eat lunch with him.

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