I tend to have my hair kind of long most of the time. My hair grows too fast I'll get a haircut and about a month later it's back to some sort of 90's thing.
Sans Dolphin, Serial Killer face, and slicked back. It's just a chore, a true chore to try and keep it short for more than 3 months straight and more often than not in terms of cash the haircut was last on my list of priorities.
The haircut in question was probably anywhere from 5 to 10 years ago now. Let me preface the story (the one I'm at least a third into by now) by telling you, I remember nothing about the way the haircut looked after I left the chair.
It was a mundane day, not a Monday just a very unassuming day. I don't recall any specific reason for the haircut perhaps I had a date but I feel like there was no real purpose for it. It was one of those chain places I could walk in and the shop in Lancaster, Ohio looks identical to the one in Casper, Wyoming.
I walk in and they were full. I've never seen a place this full before. A person in every chair be it waiting or otherwise, 5-7 hair dressers full. I began to turn to leave. I mean I wanted a haircut but who wants to wait in a doctors office style waiting area smelling all those chemicals for who knows how long.
I turn. I girl comes grabbing me by the hand. I turn and see this beautiful woman like just a gorgeous woman, with blue hair and an eyebrow ring. Now this has never quite been my type of girl but she made it work somehow. And then here outfit didn't hurt either. She had on some sort of sun dress with an apron. The apron was
It was all odd and surreal and at this point I feel like I'm recalling a dream only I know it happened. So I'm not exactly sure if I skipped everyone else in line or if they all were waiting on other people (seems unlikely) She plopped me down in the chair. This was a place that had my preferred haircut on file, fade #5 (that is being used as a number sign not a hashtag #poundsymbol ).
Similar to old Becks here but shorter on top. Point is it's a simple cut which essentially requires clippers and about five minutes of work. I should pause the story and tell you that I'm 5'11" not what I'd call tall. The girl was probably 5' 6" so in a barbers chair she should have been able to reach the top of my head.
So about the time the haircut is normally done the girl comes around to the front of the chair. Directly in front bends over in front of me. Sans bra, she hesitated long enough that I could note this detail. She then did something that never occured before or since. She climbed onto my lap and began cutting my hair. Yup that's right you can read it again. She was on my lap crotch to crotch, she was still trimming my hair but lets all call it what it was. She was giving me a lap dance. I looked around in disbelief. Confirmation of what was occurring was on everyones face. She seemed to realize at the same moment looking around.
I was going to insert an image here but I'm at work and the images that came up were not pc.
So she looked around obviously realizing the looks... And it did not matter to her one bit. That was when she shifted in my lap. She also asked me to hold on so that she didn't fall off. She was still maintaining the whole I'm just cutting his hair thing. Whether she was or not isn't even important at this point. I have this hot girl on top of me grinding on me in front of quite a few people. This occurred for 10ish minutes. Nobody knew how to react. Part of me wanted to ask when she got off, part of me had no clue what the hell I'd walked into.
It's one of those surreal situations you have a complete failure to react because your brain can't process that it's really happening.
There is money in the idea of a stripper/hair salon for guys so if anyone wants to back me on that one.
Eventually the haircut did end. I paid the fee for the haircut. I tipped the normal amount that I tip for a haircut $5-10 it was probably the $10. I did not ask for her number, I still honestly didn't know what the hell had happened in there. This was my go to place for haircuts at the time. I'd returned several times I never saw that girl again.
Yeah so that one is a bit different... It's the first TBT to have a happy ending (poor choice of words it wasn't that happy)
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